07 January 2011

2011 XP

I'll start with Alhamdulillah...

After few months of dramarama, I'm single, again, so I'll definitely look forward to new love in 2011. The guy that I used to love very deeply is a 'changed' man. From a young naive boy 3 years back, he decided to grow up as a cheater, he had cheated on me once and now he cheats forever more. I really did love him with everything in me. But if he was stupid enough to make the same bad thing again and again, I should be smart enough to let him go.

Long enough now I'm strong enough. Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun. He must be really pissed off when I did nothing for his birthday, not even a birthday wish (He spent A LOT for my birthday I know). He just had to delete my picture on his facebook the day after. Gee, marah pulak ye. I did plan throwing him a surprise birthday party with his friends, well, that did not happen after his sneaky ways were discovered (Thank God!). No wonder lah lately pelik2 mencari pasal eh. I thought he would thank me because I gave him the best present ever - I made it easy for him, I simply 'vanished'. It's ok, thank me later.

Anyway, few days after his birthday I gave him my LAST phone call to see whether he can just be honest with me. Dengan angkuhnye dia buat ayat yg mcm2 konon dia dah x pikir about relationship at all bla bla bla, yg dia tgh serabut bla bla bla. Well, the keji-ness truth was (one of the) betina sundal(s) tu mmg dah tergedik-gedik dah happy dpt spent his birthday together in KL, kantoiii baek punye jugak ngn aku yg kau mmg dasar jantan otak letak kat kote huhu, nah bukti dr betina tu (tp fb kau 'clean' konon baiknyelah sgt sgt kan)
Ke-kantoi-an Syed Muzzaffar Syed Mohsin
It's a bitter end. I experienced a whole gamut of different emotions. I've been losing sleep as he has been going cheap. There were nights I said a prayer and fell asleep, that's when the sweet begins... I learned the difference between chance and decision, giving and receiving, and most importantly, forgiveness. To me, I feel all my different relationships have helped me grow tremendously as a woman and I would not trade the experiences. I can truly embrace, accept and feel the difference in my bones. The scars are nothing compared to the lessons learned.

Let’s face it, we're all only human. In the end, I felt like - Ding! I've achieved a new level in my game. Looking on the bright side - I thank God, my family, my friends and his friends. Let's approach each day with a wonderful sense of wonder and bliss. I'll guard my heart. I'll guard my spirit. Time heals and reveals. Time will tell... ;) Heart-to-heart talk sungguh ni kannn

I have been super busy at work. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Sila jgn percaya dua ayat terakhir ni. Happy New Year, 2011! Make it a good one!